My sweet Garrett, I wanna write a little bit about myself tonight. (And referring to rule #2 on my first post, it deems totally acceptable.)
:)
I actually don't know what I want to share; nothing specific comes to mind. So maybe we'll make a list, and kinda narrow my list to "deep", stuff.
Coooool. Here we go:
- My middle name runs in my family. Remember I mentioned that tonight? You see my Grandma Elaine's, the one you met... my dad's mom, middle name is Rose. So Elaine Rose and then her mother's name is Rose McGivney. And then my mama's mother's name is Rosa Rosales. So... Rose Rosebush. (At least that's what my mama told me...)
- I freaking hate my skin. I don't know if you've really noticed it or not, but I've had acne since sixth grade. My so called friends gave me crap about my skin all while i was growing up. I'd constantly pick at my face in hopes of perfect skin. My mom has had me try EVERYTHING. Anything you can buy or order through special TV ads, I've tried. I've even had my own dermatologist who has prescribed me both pills and special ointments. Nothing really worked, but I've finally settled with my skin. Yeah, it isn't as bad as it used to be anymore, but my skin isn't perfect. But hey, neither am I. So my skin portrays that for everyone whom i associate with, and I'm OK with it now.
- I love to sing. Although you've heard me sing along in the car and my little church song, I'm capable of a lot more than you've heard. Dude when I'm dedicated and practicing everyday I can reach some killer notes. All through Jr. High I got every solo I wanted, but as high school rolled around singing didn't feel special anymore. Everyone freaking sang. I had competition and I let it discourage me. My choir teacher leaned more towards a choral/theatre voice, so I didn't get solos anymore. My mama told me once, "Kelsey there will always be somebody who is better than you". I think she meant to encourage me or force ambition upon me, but I let that statement get to me. When people ask me what I like to do I never ever say singing. I guess I've let what my mama said get to me.
- Being a girl is hard dude. I don't know how maintaining a social life as a guy is, but man high school was kinda really ugly for me. Up until this past year, I've never been able to maintain a friend for longer than a year. Being a girl is so competitive. I feel like that's the reason that girls are bratty the way they can be. I remember my mama whispering in my ear, "I think she's jealous of you. I saw how she looked at you." This didn't make me feel good, in fact i think this made me submissive. I always tried to make my friends happy, even if that made me unhappy. Finally, I had to choose to fight for myself so I'd loose my friend. As I look back to high school, I've had at least four entirely different groups of friends.
- Those 3 bullets make me sound like an emotional and self-conscious hot mess. SO HEY! Although I definitely have my insecurities, I find value in myself in a lot of different ways.
I know that I am beautiful. I feel very comfortable in my skin, kinda ironic that my second point contradicts that. Although sometimes I rely upon pictures to remind me of my beauty on a rough day, I know that when I look in the mirror I know that I am important.
I am:
A Heavenly Daughter,
Daniel and Veronica Banner's daughter,
A younger sister,
An older sister,
A granddaughter,
A roommate,
A best friend,
A classmate,
A teacher,
A citizen,
An example,
A neighbor,
A student,
A future mother,
A future wife,
A dreamer,
A hopeless romantic,
A hopeful writer,
An optimist,
A realist,
That weird girl who makes eye contact with people and smiles,
and happy.
Garrett I really am happy.
But I'm even happier with you in my life.
Thank you.
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